What has been going on ??

Thought I would update , and blog about what has been going on in the last couple of months …

Apart from Marathon training , for the London Marathon on the 23rd of april , it has been a busy year so far in regards to Mental Health/ocd awareness.

In January I was proud to have worked alongside one of the worlds leading Bdd/OCD experts , Rob Wilson at Surrey University.

The day involved training/teaching IAPT therapists , using my lived experience, and as Rob quoted “The Encylopedia of knowledge” of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , that I allegedly have ! The day was great , and Rob is a fantastic teacher. I hope they all went away equipped with good knowledge , so that they can help to change peoples lives for the better. What was also pleasing to hear , was Rob is keen on me becoming a therapist , which is a work in progress !

Last month I was asked to be on the panel of experts , for a debate , about taking Mental Health into the 21st century , working alongside MP. Norman Lamb, Liz Fraser (founder of Headcase) Danny Bowman, Chair from Parliament Street, lived experiences of Bdd/OCD , and Jonny Benjamin.

It was a great event and I was able to put across many aspects /knowledge/important information about OCD. It went down very well and Norman Lamb , said that he loved my input.

3 Days later !!!

I was back in London , doing a talk about OCD and Tourettes Syndrome , at the London Tourettes support group, collaborating with Liz Atkin , a world famous visual artist , which she has used as a platform of change to help her with the Compulsive Skin Picking/Dermatillomania. Liz is often seen on the Underground doing Charcoal drawings and passes them onto passengers, its also a great way of sharing awareness of the debilitating disorder. She has recently been working in Singapore. Her Presentation on the day , was incredible , and very informative. You can follow Liz on twitter @lizAtkin and her webpage is here  www.LizAtkin.Com

My talk involved sharing my lived experience of OCD and TS. and the sharing of information with those in the audience , which was followed up by a Q/A which went on for a good 30 minutes

What was so pleasing to hear, next day was the fantastic feedback I received, one person in the audience said it has been like a light switch going on , and it has given him hope and inspired him , and that you can go onto lead a great life, and don’t let TS stand in your way. “One day I want to be like ash , doing talks/presentations” I said at any time he wants to be alongside me , to do a talk , he is more than welcome

I also got the pleasure of meeting up with Jess the “tourettes superhero” she is awesome, and so was Sophia too , was lovely to meet you as well

The support group all round is fantastic , huge credit to all involved !

So that’s it really . Looking forwards to running the Marathon on the 23rd of april with the tourettes action running vest on , and the “heads together” headband , because this year its the “marathon for mental health”

Thanks for reading. Much love

Ash x x x




“Oh that’s just Ash. That’s just the way he is …. ! “

Thought I would  write a blog about my experiences of Tourette Syndrome and why I have chosen to run the London Marathon 2017 for the wonderful charity that is Tourette’s Action, all details can be found here > https://www.tourettes-action.org.uk/

My Fundraising Page is here > http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserPage.action?userUrl=AshCurry007&faId=764934&isTeam=false

So , how many times have I heard “oh that’s just Ash , that’s just way he is !” probably 100’s because that is how people describe my Tourette’s syndrome of which I was “eventually” diagnosed with , aged 35 … during my diagnosis of OCD. which is or can be co-morbid with TS.

Why do they say that though ? I suppose,  if people are unaware of my TS , which at times can be innapropiate  , its a way of saying that’s him , some are even kind enough to explain TS to those who aren’t fully knowledged of how it can manifest itself !

It probably started around the age of 6 , mainly saying things out loud (and not swearing , only a small % actually do) it could be words , noises , burping , yelping as eg. It did impact on my ability to focus and education , but I was ok with the things that interested me !

I also went through stages of punching myself in the face .

Age 15 I left school early and found a job at my local barbers , of which I took to like a duck to water !! and I now run my own business , which has been successful for over 22 years ! The job I feel is a great distraction , and in my workplace I find the TS not so strong , except when it gets busy !! The TS it seems for me , spills out oddly as very funny ,like a sudden pun … although it can be offensive , its intent isn’t meant to be, and nor can I help that.

Once Diagnosed with ocd , I learnt lots about it , and 9 months afterwards I made a full recovery , and have remained ocd free for the last 12 years , which for me has helped with TS , as that , thankfully has lessened as I have got older (currently 48)

Currently the TS takes the forms of repeating words and what other’s say. Mimicking peoples voices and accents, apparently I would make a great impersonator !

I personally feel that in a TS sense of impact , compared to others , mine is mild to moderate, sometimes it’s  there , sometimes it isn’t , but to be honest I don’t really care !

So i’m running the London marathon for the super Tourettes Action , they help people with and care for, and also do some great work in the research field.

So although its not big blog , I’m not the greatest of writers , I do hope you gain from this and please do sponsor !!

Most importantly . People love me for who I am, I have an incredible wife of 25 years and 2 two superb kids , who I am very proud of. Don’t ever let TS stand in your way .


Ash 🙂 X






Am I Fat ? ?

One of the question’s that my misfiring brain asked me , when I was poorly …

You are getting fat , the intrusion was , I recall .. I automatically responded by checking my belt , to see if anything had changed there , I then looked into the mirror , looking for signs of …. maybe I am , maybe I am getting fat , overweight people die young don’t they , people will comment on it , they will say “god you have put weight on” what are you doing sort yourself out …….

Bring in the weighing scales , the mirror checking , looking for signs … weighing myself up to and over 15 times a day , checking the mirror , looking for signs of weight gain … then I started to check foods for fat content and calories , I also then used the fatal reassurance seeking , asking people if I looked fat , and of course that never works , never a solution , solutions to unwanted thoughts never work , do they …..but when undiagnosed you don’t understand , but then again when you are diagnosed , you do understand , but still fall into that behavioural pattern, of checking … looking for 100% certainty , avoiding things , checking , ruminating , feeling anxious, low self esteem … add to the list if you wish

I don’t know how I stopped the behaviours , but I did , like a lot of my pre diagnosis unwanted obsessions , I kind of learned that , or told myself that it isn’t working

Looking back , WAS I FAT ? ? Irrelavant , what was relevant was that I was under the grip’s of what I believe was an OCD episode , which lead me to believe I was ….


Hope it might help someone. Please do seek help though , if you are struggling , I am not an expert ,  just share my own personal story .





Maternal OCD and the 10x10ks …

Hi , a blog about the 10 x 10ks I ran for the wonderful charity Maternal OCD > http://maternalocd.org/

So here we are , 10 months into the year and I completed the mission of running 10x10ks and threw a half marathon in for good measure !!

listed here are the 10ks .. 1.British winter 10k London 2 Fen Drayton 3 Huntingdon 4 Swavesey 5 Cambourne 6 St ives 7Norwich 8 Welwyn 9 Town and Gown , Cambridge 10 Bourne and of course the Cambridge Half Marathon !

I was officially going to run the Paris Marathon this year , but due to personal circumstances I had to withdraw , so in December last year the wife came up with the idea of running 10 x 10ks for Maternal OCD as she knew how close the charity was to my heart and that I was a good friend of a person , who has helped me so much with my awareness work of OCD , the super Diana Wilson the co founder of the charity . So I decided to take on that challenge, and it was , fantastic !! I eventually met the other co-founder Maria at the Welwyn 10k and she is a wonderfully wonderful person too !!

The last 10k which was on sunday the 16th of October , in my hometown of Cambridge was a very emotional experience , knowing that the journey has raised awareness of Maternal OCD and I got so much support and encouragement over the last 10 months. During the last 500 metres I was in tears of joy and pain , I wanted to stop as my legs were hurting a lot , but I said to myself , come on ash your legs maybe painful but remember there are mums out there that cannot lift up their baby due to OCD ….. that drove me on and gave me that final burst of energy ….. to cross that line , and boy was I proud !!


We managed to raise £1065.00 which is fantastic and a big thanks to all that sponsored !!

What is going to happen with the £ £ ? so far it has enabled Dr.Eva Zsk and her team take up the first stages of research into perinatal/postpartum ocd , where 8 mums will engage with and share lived experiences …

So that is the story of my 10x10ks ….



Confessing to things .. but still unsure. !

Thought i would write a Blog about confessing in ocd.  Here goes ….

Imagine having unwanted abhorrent sexual intrusive thoughts enter your brain , that cause huge, terrifying and disabling anxiety , and remain constant for 24 hours , non stop … and what ever you try to do to work out whether they are real or not , they simply return even harder, to the point of them becoming so strong you actually start to believe in them ….

Yes that’s OCD. and a person with OCD would also , carry out compulsions , like rumination, trying to neutralise the thoughts , self reassurance, drinking water to try and flush the thoughts away … the list is ENDLESS but however hard you try , by using compulsions , they only offer a small amount of relief, for some none at all …

Now Imagine not having any diagnosis of OCD !! the fear , the doubt, the debilitation the intensity of it all …. and however hard you try to convince yourself its not real , you become so exhausted after trying every avenue of escapism , it therefore must be true and that is where, for some the “confession” part steps in …. i need to tell someone … i’m a bad person …. So they go onto to disclose the thoughts to a partner/gp/health visitor/midwife as eg …. ” i have done XYZ , please lock me away” … and that is Where the recipient of the disclosure has to understand the disorder that is OCD and if not , do get a professional involved, who can go into the reasons why , what they are doing when the thoughts enter , how long they have been suffering etc etc … rather than making automatic knee-jerk reactions and adding further needless problems to the persons already suffering/well-being.

So yes , people do disclose to things that they have not done , they are doing it because its a huge cry for help and also a compulsion , because they want absolute certainty that they have not done the things the powerful bullying ocd has lead them to believe they have

Importance also, is that this is understood in Perinatal Stages , especially for those mums (and dads) that have had no history of OCD in past , and are hit by a sudden onset of it … !!








#OCDWEEK . My personal views of it !

It’s been, in my opinion one of the best ocd awareness weeks I’ve been involved with, since first participating over 11 years ago !!

Those that have been involved have really shown the true side of OCD. and how it can destroy and debilitate people, and also those that live and/or care for sufferers on a daily basis.

The shocking part of the week, was the itv “good morning Britain’s” attempt of getting involved, and sadly getting it all so so so wrong, where in retrospect it could of been a golden opportunity to show and portray ocd properly, but alas the response from all, and media outlets made a positive from a very negative, and used it as a platform to get the real facts out there.

What was good to see, in my opinion was the not so often talked about ocd , the unwanted sexual thoughts involving children/babies , being tweeted and talked about . One hopes that this will have helped those who are to afraid to seek help, due to the nature, and the fear of being judged !! Do seek help,there are some fantastic therapists out there who can help you regain your life from the evil ,pathetic OCD

Also what’s been great to see, and vitally important is people have been challenging there ocd , rather than let it challenge them, and there has been some great success over this last week

Ocd actions talk with pure author rose bretcher was very educational, discussing all aspects of OCD ! As was Rosey who holds weekly chats about post/peri natal mental health #pndhour where this weeks topic was about intrusive thoughts and it covered ocd very well.

So to sum it up, well done everyone involved with this weeks ocd awareness week, its been fantastic, but remember awareness doesn’t stop here, its a 365 day process in my opinion, especially I feel , more focus needed on lack of access to correct help, for many on the NHS !

Much love to you all , onwards and upwards !

@ashleycurryocd Continue reading

Intrusive thoughts of a sexual nature from the past …..

Often termed as “false memory” it isn’t , its OCD.

Where to start ? What happens in this type of OCD is youre hit with images ,/ thoughts that you have sexually abused family members or children in the past, the thoughts of course can be of a very sexual nature, and appear to be , or feel very real, which causes huge angst ! “I’m thinking it, therefore I must have” creeps in ….

The reaction as a OCD sufferer is to try and work out if they are real or not, replaying the images and events , checking children now to see if they seem off or not right, ruminating,self convincing, every conceivable effort is carried out to work out if they actually had happened.

What happens of course, is by carrying out the action/compulsions it actually makes the OCD more powerful and the thoughts become so strong, one can actually start to believe in them, which sadly can lead into a confession (another compulsion) to things they feel they may have done , although the unsure feeling is still there, albeit minimal, but still a thread to cling to.!!

People with these type of thoughts often are too afraid to seek help , for the fear of being judged incorrectly ! But thankfully that is a very rare occurrence these days, but it does shockingly still happen, with needless interventions by social services , due to crap knowledge about OCD, which only adds to the further stress of dealing with OCD !

If you are suffering with this type of unwanted thoughts due to OCD, but are too afraid to seek help, don’t delay, with good help from  charity’s  + (OCD Action) the correct help can be given, and life does and will certainly change for the better


“WHAT IF” its not OCD !! ?

Often , very often you see this statement “what if its not ocd” from people in the grips of a debilitating illness called obsessive compulsive disorder .

I must say, even when i did eventually obtain a correct diagnosis of ocd , the ocd took on a new variation , the dreaded question “what if its not OCD” which leads onto one questioning the diagnosis ….. did you see what happened there !! OCD caught me out like the evil bastard does ….. DOUBT ! ANGST ! = Compulsions so its not ocd then , it must be something else !! therfore i need locking away to protect the public , yes please lock me away, that way everyone will be safe … right ? NOOO because if they did lock me away then those in the locked away place would be in danger !!!!! no let up !!!!

What i learnt from experience is , if you feel that your questioning whether it is ocd or not , id bet a million dollars everytime that it is ocd at work , and the rule of thumb in my way forwards to recovery was to recognise when ocd is at play , and a mantra i learnt is “if it feels like ocd , then treat it as such”

Hope this might help anyone who gets caught out by the OCD , The clue really is in the topic heading



#ASKASHOCD tuesday evenings at 8.15 uk time. A place on twitter where we talk and raise awareness of ocd


Dont know what to call it ? Ex sufferer ? Recovered ? Mmm ok ill go for ex sufferer.

So yes to become a ex sufferer I had to become my own therapist basically, because believe it or not , OCD prevented me from going to CBT ! It made me believe , as it does (doubting disease !! ) that if I did go for CBT they would say actually it’s not OCD !! You are insane and need locking away !!

So I turned the CBT down and said i was fine !! Avoidance at its best !

I then decided to gain as much knowledge as I could about OCD, reading books, gathering as much information as I could on how CBT works and what I needed to do, to get myself out of a horrid situation !

Acknowledging that I had OCD was vital, and what I did from that point was to write down each thought that caused suffering and what actions I did to rid myself of the anxiety, and the thoughts

Bit by bit I reduced the compulsions and also encouraged the OCD thoughts , bring it on is that the best you’ve got !! And simply refuse to carry out any form of compulsive behaviours !!

I’d also do the opposite of what OCD demanded, putting myself deliberately into feared situations and places !!

Sounds easy right ?? NO it wasn’t because I would slip up , and fall into engaging with the OCD often called *blips but I’d have to say and remind myself “hey come on ash , you know where this all stems from !” Pick yourself up, dust yourself down , and kick butt

So with perseverance , after 8 months the OCD had faded away !! No entourage of thoughts , Nothing what so ever !!!

And thankfully 11 years on that remains the same !!

It’s kind of interesting re pre diagnosis , at a young age I kind of had an internal ideation of what was wrong, and learnt that if I left it alone it would disappear !!

But of course when a new variant arrives , and it feels like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks , that all goes out the window !!

So that sums up my recovery , but to add I had to make lifestyle adjustments to !! Knocked alcohol on the head ,took up exercise , ate more healthier, worked at good sleep hygiene , and importantly learnt to look after number 1 and become selfish to a degree, as I was doing to much for others and forgetting about me !!

I wish you well on your recovery , and hope you get to a point where you control the OCD and it doesn’t control you, or for some full recovery



Thought id write about this , as an ex sufferer and from what i have ascertained in the years of supporting those that suffer with ocd  and raising awareness.

Dads with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder, one of the worlds top 10 most debilitating illnesses !)

How does OCD affect a Dad , be it post or peri natal !

Becoming a new father , or leading up to it , carries a big RESPONSIBILITY , its a life changing experience in more ways than one ! so for those that already suffer with ocd it can trigger new thoughts , for some who have never suffered at all in there life it can be a onset !! There are also those that suffer in silence, without any formal diagnosis of ocd , so unawares it can be a huge change in tack for the undiagnosed ocd

Notice the word in capitals !! RESPONSIBILITY . With ocd it becomes what we call HYPER RESPONSIBILTY driven by crippling anxiety and awful doubting caused from the ocd !!

An eg for a dad or dad to be might be “what if im not the dad of the baby” Now im sure all dads have had this unwanted thought, but are able to brush it away , but for dad with ocd it hits like being hit by a brick wall. The fears and angst attached to the thoughts causes huge debiltation, which would lead onto them carrying out a compulsion to work out if the thoughts are real or not , and search for 100% clarity

Typical compulsions could be , ruminationg over whether he is or not , checking baby for signs of alikeness and by carrying out these .this causes the ocd to increase in value !! where an increase of new thoughts might bombard , “what about when she went out …” then they could lead onto constant reassurance seeking , asking mum over and over !! sometimes to the point of requesting a dna Test !!

OCD can take many many manifestations , what if i harm the baby ?? What if i touch them innapropiatley ? What if i drown the baby when im bathing it ? This leads onto ocd destroying father hood because dad would avoid holding at all costs , sometimes dad would move out of house to live some where else , because the ocd becomes so powerful , they actually start to believe in it !!

Personally when i was poorly , pre diagnosis id constantly check if they were breathing , not just an hour ALL night , probably surviving on 2 hours sleep a day .

What if the blankets on there face ! what if they roll over ! what if they have cot death ? the thoughts were constant !! it was crippling

So on a footnote i thought id give the DADS a heads up dealing with this horrid illness !! It is beatable with the right help , and do not be afraid to seek it !! SOONER rather than later !!

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is the golden key for treating ocd !! Gain lots of knowledge to !!

OCD ACTION are a fantastic charity for support and advocacy !!

This also goes out as my buddy Mark Williams is launching a new website for fathers this fathers Day

@DadsMatterUK on twitter whom @markwilliamsROW is co founder


Weekly ocd chats on twitter #ASKASHOCD tuesdays 8pm ish